~ Last night I sliced and lightly fried cucumbers. Yes I did. Lightly battered. Light oil. Batter was gluten free flour, one egg, salt, garlic powder. All that was missing was the little triangle pieces of bread, little floral   more»


The whole loving an enemy thing is some hard stuff, isn’t it?. Bible, Quran, Torah, Buddhist teachings, your neighbor on a daily Humanist basis, atheists looking clear-eyed at peace - all these people’s texts and sensibilities   more»


~ Here’s how to know which one is the more betterer one between LDL and HDL. HDL = Happy Damn Lipids. LDL = Lousy Damn Lipids

~ Stalactites and stalagmites. Stalactites have to hold on “tite” to the   more»


I’ve grown old and anecdotal. One thing earns the other. I’ll apologize for nothing. So this story.

Steve, I recall you in college as the nicest guy. You were tops amongst a bunch of athletes at Connecticut   more»


Dear Jay,

You were torment as a neighbor. When you lived here you admitted being diagnosed OCD, yet you mowed our lawn, publicly criticized our clothesline, sent certified letters about trash cans (gardening cans...)   more»

A Few Wonderful Things

Hi Vance Friends & Fans-

WHAT: Vance Gilbert’s Monday Night Acoustic Pajama Party #5 - Motown, R&B, Soul On Acoustic Nite

WHEN: Monday, 4/13, 7:30 pmEDT

WHERE:   more»


So Ellen, my crackerjack administrative manager, is always looking for decent cheap hotels for me. See, as I have gotten older, that 3+ hour drive home from NYC and it’s environs at 11pm is a thing no more. And if I’m   more»

Book Of Silhouettes

I was at Chinese buffet with my brother and his partner, and we had pretty much put a hurting on the place in our first round of plates. To the table to my right a man and a woman were just arriving. She sat down directly, however   more»

New Album Time!

Hi VanceFans,

Well it’s that time I told you would come. I’m looking for money. Thank You In Advance for your patronage.

Those of you who have fund-raised with me before know how I work. It’s   more»

Monday Brain Droppings

I’m home after a whirlwind 9 days including a red-eye with no sleep. And I wouldn’t for a nanosecond trade it. Here’s why, in terrifically loose order:

First came The Iron Horse, while sporting an   more»

The Power Of Music

I hope this young lady doesn’t mind my putting this up. Names are changed to protect. It’s too lovely to keep to myself.If there’s any more indication that we touch other’s lives, this is certainly one   more»

A Wedding Story (of a different kind)


I played the best wedding ever this past weekend.

Yes, Believe it or not, I play a lot of weddings. Fans get a hold of me, I charge fair but still kinda steep prices, and I play songs at the ceremony,   more»


I was told it was time to blog. Blame Amy Malkoff, my web manager. Hold none of this against anyone. I could change my mind on any of it by morning


Some   more»

31 Favorite Important Performances

This is in no order, and each choice is driven by something in each performance, usually the vocal, with some exceptions, that over the last 50 years, has stopped me in my tracks. Speaking of tracks, yes, I know some stuff may   more»

"Nearness Of You" officially available!

Vance Gilbert’s solo jazz standard album Nearness Of You took 2 mics, one guitar, and 35 years to make. The acoustic singer-songwriter scene stalwart finally got the courage up enough to sit down and record this album   more»

On Dogs, Homework and Earth, Wind & Fire

Yeah. It’s been a while. I think I’ll just jump in and start flailing... BARK Magazine - vs - Cesar Millan When we got our first Standard Poodle, Louise, rescued from the streets of Springfield MA back in   more»

Midterm Election Review

The demonization of this president is complete, the populous bought it, the next 2 years will be spent in legacy protection, we will have a Republican president in 2016, so it's time for us to hoist up panties and prepare   more»

The Great Annoyer

I think I’ve annoyed at least 3, maybe 4 or 5 famous people in the last 60 days. My apologies to:

1.) Richard Foos - Millionaire Music impresario, once owned Rhino Records and now of Shout! Factory. I wrote you,   more»

My summer so far, in one sentence...

After looking at the contract for The Voice I wrote a long nice goodbye letter to the exec casting folks saying that I'd be happy to work with them but the contract was unworkable, the truth being it was 55 pages of somewhere   more»

A Few Things I've Written

Here are a few Things I’ve Written Text From A Golf Resort The following is the response to some “have a happy day shid” my brother copied and pasted in a text to me: where roads reach up to greet you, there’s   more»

Angry, Part Deux. Not So Much Anymore

Remember how I was angry about being railroaded by an axe grinding promoter/board member? I wrote the other promoter a note saying how joyous I’d be in playing there again, telling them that I understood that they were bandying   more»


Amy Malkoff, whom I trust implicitly in with all things web-internet based and all things backing vocal and arrangement (see "Leaving Avon" & "Lie To Me" on Unfamiliar Moon), was quite adamant during one of our first meetings   more»



Order here.

This is a Thank You.

I belong to a fraternity of hobbyists called the Flying Aces Club. I don't go on and on about   more»

VANCEFUNDER - Put your money where my mouth sings!

You know me. I'm Vance Gilbert, singer, songwriter, guitarist, and sometimes comedian.   Most of you have already heard me all over North America over the last 20 years. I opened Shawn Colvin's Fat City Tour   more»

Wheelchair Tennis, Writing Checks, and Vet Stories

Kickstarter or the Like - Fan Funding My Next Album Before I get going on really ranting, I am announcing my pre-announcement for the announcement for my fan funding campaign. I’ll be asking for funding and giving   more»


Look, Falcon Ridge Folks Fest was magnificent, but I’m absolute toast, I’m still not rested up, and I’m just letting it fly. Hope no one’s feeling get hurt here...oh whatever. James “Whitey”   more»

On the Boston Marathon, Doctors Without Borders, and Ellis Paul

Boston Marathon Bombing Amy Malkoff, my web manager, and a fine musician in her own right, suggested that it was probably time to update my blog/rant page. She sets no deadline, doesn’t beg, but just suggests that it’s   more»

Jade Garden

Jade Garden It’s no secret. Anyone that knows me knows my love of Chinese food. And wings. So Chinese wings are The Second Coming, of course. Sorry, God, but I believe you’d understand if you were here...Alas, they   more»

Some 2012 into 2013 ANT's (Annoyed Negro Thoughts):

Thank You Note: Last summer I gave gifts and/or money to two recently married couples, one college graduate, and a girl/woman on her Bat Mitzvah. Now, I'm not rich, and it wasn't much money. I think each situation got   more»

Observations, Eh?

Overall Recent Life Observations:-When your ENT looks in you nose with that black plastic thingy and says “Ewwww!! Yuck, gross!!”, you can be sure you have a sinus infection. -See the recent advertisements for the   more»

Color and...

Color and the Parallel Bars "...will help recalibrate what young females of color believe is within their reach, while also influencing Western ideas and concepts of black womanhood, strength, agency and femininity—which   more»

Random Ranting

The Audacity of Teaching- Look, this isn’t an advertisement. Just part of what I do. For the last 3 years my Wednesdays have been all about students in the greater Boston area learning the folk thing from me. Most see   more»

Ranting, Raving, and Guitar Solos

McDonalds banana bread and scones And I’m going to Paulie, my car mechanic, for a colonoscopy. Lord, please. Carsie Blanton She’s the next thing, in my book. She’s opened for me a few times, and then   more»

The Movies

I play guitar and sing. So, far be it from me to really be an arts critic of anything else other than what I already do. Even in this genre I often don’t  have much in the way of perspective. But I am a consumer with   more»


Wings.I love me some wings. At least two types. The first type are those that are on airplanes. Particularly passenger airplanes from history. That said, just a few nights ago I was chatting with an elderly man who opened up   more»

New Years Musings

Happy New Year Everyone! Here's what I'm is (sorry, what I *be*) thinking about this day, with the requisite football in the background….. ------------------- Dear Artist, Enough time has now passed   more»

Here's some thoughts from me this holiday season

~ Holiday Giving...Habitat For Humanity...I just give to them because I like what they do. I have friends who have worked for them and they are the real deal. I also occasionally give to Doctors Without Borders, however I was   more»

November Bits & Pieces

From the "I'm Just Saying" Files: I just saw a commercial for an uber-violent World Of Warcraft video game where Chuck Norris not only stars in the game, but looks into the camera at commercial's end and says "I approve   more»

The United Event Aftermath

The ACLU tracked down the police report from the MA State Police. Note that this isn't an arrest, there's no warrant for me having fled to Poland, there is no police record, and I'm not on any no-fly list. It is, however,   more»

On presidential campaigns, candidates, elections, and yes, race.

I’ve been watching the Republican candidate for president race with a modicum of interest, as I don’t believe there’s a chance in Hades that the incumbent President will be re-elected. That said, I am not   more»

(whole grain) bits and pieces

Whole Grain Pringles just seems wrong to me. I don't buy Pringles for their whole grain-ness. Reminds me of a vegetarian restaurant I played at in the 80's where the chef kept trying to push a vegan barbecue pork chop   more»

resolution, race, and reality…

I’d like to thank everyone that Facebooked, Tweeted, contacted me thru my website, wrote me personally, wrote notes for me, called, stuffed notes in baggies through my door (Irene was raging and a neighbor wanted to make   more»

Racial Profiling First Hand

Racial Profiling First Hand...FWB&RAAB... You have to read through the letter below, sent to the ACLU, United/Continental Airlines, and/or a willing private lawyer (anybody?) to get to the meaning of the acronym. What   more»


I'm heartbroken right now. Bill Morrissey...Nov 25th, 1951 - July 23, 2011. Simply the greatest storyteller I’ve ever known. An old friend and towering source of inspiration. His songs were like snapshots - little   more»


One of my dogs barks back at the out chorus of Average White Band’s 1974 hit remake of the Isley Brother’s ‘Work To Do’, as there are guys singing “Work, Work…..Work Work…” as   more»

Spring Rant

So, all the snow has melted to nothing, the government has avoided such, spring is finally looking like a reality, and two of these three things I can see out of my office window. I see that the branches and sticks trellis that   more»

Ok, so I made this video before Christmas in response to Cee Lo's "F**k You" that makes big use of a puppet. See above. Go ahead, watch it. I'll wait. Ok, you're back...Do you think that the idea for Cee Lo to   more»


Yeah, I was driven to Wikipedia to look up Hosni Mubarak like many of you have done. Don't lie - you did too… Let's be for real, until an area of the map on your Map-Of-The-World shower curtain erupts in   more»

Welcome to my new site, and to rant #1!

Well, welcome to my new re-designed website. Thanks to Amy Malkoff, a fine singer in her own right, for her great moonlighting expertise in this venue. And welcome to the rant page. I think it's great that a pop song,   more»

Vance takes on Cee Lo Green, as Bee Lo Blue, and new website coming!

Hi Everybody, If you're reading this, it's (hopefully) because you're a fan. I am confident you have at least an inkling of current pop culture, and that you've heard Cee Lo Green's smash hit "F**k   more»

We will always need each other...

Hi Everybody, Up On Rockfield is out and available. I'm touring, teaching, writing, and as always, I'm doing what I can to get music out to you - live and otherwise. And we are in the midst of the hardest and most   more»

____________________________________________________________________________________ Roscoe This is Roscoe. He is, like our lovely Louise was, a Standard Poodle. At this writing he is 15 weeks old, a riot, a handful, brilliant,   more»


You know me. I'm Vance Gilbert, singer, songwriter, guitarist, and sometimes comedian.  Most of you have already heard me all over North America over the last 20 years. I opened Shawn Colvin's Fat City Tour in the   more»


6/16/08 Welcome to summer and the new album!! UP ON ROCKFIELD is available now, and it is an assemblage of music beyond my wildest dreams! The concept of the tunes being written as if someone else was writing them is a   more»

C'mon Winter, You Don't Scare Me....

1/1/08 Yeah, it's the New Year. Clean slates, diets, the gym....I'll remind you of all this in a few months! I'm just about done writing all the songs  as I work towards a new album called "Sounds Like...".   more»


This is Roscoe. He is, like our lovely Louise was, a Standard Poodle. At this writing he is 15 weeks old, a riot, a handful, brilliant, and ours. It had been 3 months since we lost Louise and that love for a dog needed to go somewhere.   more»

Angels, Castles, Covers - The New Album/ Carlin Has Gilbert

Goodbye Louise 7/19/2006 Dear All, Louise went to sleep for the last time at 11:50 am today. I am so much a better person for her having been here for the last 3 years. Thanks to all of you for all of your support,   more»

Vance Gilbert's new CD - Unfamilliar Moon

UNFAMILIAR MOON is Vance Gilbert's most mature and realized recording to date. This is his most anticipated album, as it is jam-packed with songs that fall into "that" category of songwriting- the zenith for any writer -   more»