THINGS I KNOW THAT MAYBE HELP YOU TOO

~ Here’s how to know which one is the more betterer one between LDL and HDL. HDL = Happy Damn Lipids. LDL = Lousy Damn Lipids

~ Stalactites and stalagmites. Stalactites have to hold on “tite” to the ceiling. Stalagmites are the other ones.

~ I had a girlfriend that was slightly dyslexic. When listening to driving directions, she’d hold her hands flat on the steering wheel. Her left hand makes the shape of an “L”. That wasn’t right.

~ Music. The difference between a whole-rest and a half-rest…..whole-rest holds on tenaciously to the top of that D staff, fearing crashing down to the B like a last gasp stalactite. Half-rest already sitting there on the B line like a lazy-ass stalagmite. BTW, Shouldn’t both whole-rest and half-rest have a hyphen? Just feels right.

~ Don’t post on social media how you’re looking openly for explanations of other political ideas and then make all your subsequent posts be a vociferous defense of what you already think. That makes you a dick.

~ When anyone, particularly a loved one, inevitably asks you “What day is it?”, don’t suffix your reply with “…all day”. That makes you a dick.

~ If you’ve gotten as far as part-way through your day, make it a point to know what day it is. Why make someone else feel like a dick?

~ I played a gig a week or so back. The only indoor part was the bathroom. I went in, peed, grabbed a handful of sanitizer, all while holding my breath. I rubbed in sanitizer for the next 12-15 minutes before it even thought about evaporating, really it felt like “soap by mistake”. Manager told me that since sanitizer was in such short supply, the place bought it cheap online, and cheap it was. For the rest of the night you could tell which men - men being notoriously known for not washing - actually washed their hands by the 15 minutes they rubbed into the next song.

xovg

updated: 3 weeks ago