When: Monday, July 28 7:30PM ET

Where: https://youtube.com/live/fJ4ZnGjT2UI?feature=share

Who gets 10%: https://www.lucemass.org Immigrant Justice Network Of Massachusetts

http://paypal.me/vancevancevance or https://venmo.com/vancevancevance or VanceFunder P.O. Box 17, Arlington, MA 02476

*PRIVATE COACHING AVAILABLE - Contact me (vance@vancegilbert.com) for songwriting, performance, and voice coaching.

***CUSTOM SONGS - Expensive, but sure, you want one about you or your family or something.

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END OF TREATMENT TODAY

~ DAY ZERO - Yeah. Today is the last day. 7-8(+) weeks of recovery. But yes, today I get to ring the bell in the radiation waiting room. Directions on the placard next to the bell say it is to be rung 3 times. A celebratory yet solemn and respectful ringing with the others in the room warmly clapping.

No.

My ringing? Reader, VanceFan, do this for me right now: Ask Siri or Alexa to play “Grazing In The Grass” by Hugh Masekela. Go ahead. I’ll wait. See how that song opens? Followed by "Love Train" by The O’Jays. You better get your ticket.

~ MY PRESUMPTUOUS ARSE AND DR. CHAN - I had the most fun learning the phrase "Good Morning, Crazy Dr. Lady” in Chinese for this utter genius radiology oncologist doctor of mine. When she came into the room I spouted "zão shàng hão, tẽng kuáng de yì shẽng nũ shì” in what I have been told is my really decent pronunciation of Mandarin, and Dr. Chan could barely contain her smirk when she said, “You know, I have no idea what you’ve said - I speak Cantonese...”

~ GET OFF YOUR PHONE IN THE CROSSWALK - It’s enough that drivers proceed or not on the “intent” in the body language and faces of people crossing. Enough. Phone down. Look up.

~ SHAKEN NOT STIRRED - Thanks Chemo for saving my life. Thanks for the poops too, I guess. What's a little poop if you get to live? Here’s a story:

It was 2:45AM. I felt the urge... I got up. I went. I came back to the nightstand, light off this whole time.

"I'll stem this bout off at the pass”, I figured. I grabbed the bottle of Imodium and started to maneuver the cap off in the dark. Was that the cap? Or was that the little dispensary cup? Whatever. I go to shake it up. The cap goes flying somewhere, as do ribbons of Imodium. I no longer care, I take a swig, noting that I’ll clean the rest up in the morning.

I lay down in the bed and feel the wet smear from the sheets on my right hip. Oh no. I actually didn’t make it to the potty. It has begun.

I flick the light on and for a second I’m sure I am a leprechaun with a case of the bright-green minty runs.

I guess this could be worse. I have no idea how to say the above in Mandarin, Cantonese, or Gaelic.