When: Monday, Sept 8 7:30pm EST

Where: https://youtube.com/live/KLxF11yANIw?feature=share

Who gets 10%: Our Deaf Survivors https://www.odscunity.org - provide culturally affirmative support services to Deaf victims/survivors of sexual and domestic violence through education, empowerment, and advocacy.

http://paypal.me/vancevancevance or https://venmo.com/vancevancevance or VanceFunder P.O. Box 17, Arlington, MA 02476

*PRIVATE COACHING AVAILABLE - Contact me (vance@vancegilbert.com) for songwriting, performance, and voice coaching.

***CUSTOM SONGS - Expensive, but sure, you want one about you or your family or something.

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HEARING

My old vocal coach from the 80’s, Eddie Watson, once said to me, “If you can speak, you can sing.” Sure, I have been worried about my voice and what would be left after chemo and radiation, but I figured I’d re-invent, plumb for different nuance, swords to ploughshares my instrument. That’s me. Intrepid vocalist no matter what. I’d be back. Baby steps.

I never thought I’d lose my hearing.

It had been gradual this last 6 weeks or so, but the TV was all the way up and I still needed closed captioning. I’d say 60% gone. You wanna talk scared?

What’s the point of being able to make any kind of sound if you couldn’t hear? Cancer providers are like “ahh, it’s just fluid, it’ll be back...mostly. Probably”. Another provider was more frank with “Ahh yes, chemo and radiation - the gift that keeps on giving...”

But it is a gift, right? I get to live. As I drove to the audiology appointment I started to make amends and promises that I never made with my vocal handwringing.
I’ll listen more than talk.
I’ll be on the porch at night listen to crickets, and only to do that.
I promise to delve deep into classical music and be less of a vulgarian.
Learn to recognize pieces after 4 bars.

When this doctor slit my eardrums and the fluid drained I could hear him breathe and I burst into tears. I could hear the receptionist down the hall breathe. He told me that thanks to radiation I now had Eustachian Tube Dysfunction. In my effort to listen and not make a joke out of everything I DID NOT say, “What about my dream of having children”?

I sat in the car in the parking garage listening, contemplating what to put through my little Bose speaker. Bach Chorales? Vivaldi’s Spring? Tarrega by anyone?

That parking garage still echos, 30 hours later, me singing out the window HOLLY WOOOOOOOD...HOLLYWOOD SWINGING with Kool & The Gang.

Baby steps.

[art By Becky!]