Skip to main content

Holiday Employment

from BaD Dog Buffet

I apologize for the portrait
Of your founder by the door
Seems I hooked it with an antler
Sent it crashing to the floor
Not the greatest first impression
I’m the first one to admit
I’m just thrilled to cross the highway
To your office without getting hit

I’ll do most anything you come up with
Save for working on a roof
I get flashbacks from a job long ago
Still sends shivers up my hoof


  I seek holiday employment
  I got mouths to feed and times are hard
  I need a steady paycheck
  Till the lines go down at Macy’s
  Then it’s south, I got a cousin
  With an Airstream in his yard

Am I married, divorced, or dating?
No, I got no current flame
And I’m just not into the bar scene
Playing all them reindeer games

I was hot on a doe named Olive once
Guess she didn’t feel the same
Olive the lovely reindeer
Used to laugh and call me names

Please don’t call her as a reference
Here, lemme cross that out real quick
Ring that other number on my resume
Make sure you ask for Old St. Nick


My nose is just a little red
Yes I guess I’ve had a few
I didn’t expect your call today
Much less this interview
But I’m headin to a meeting
At the church at 6th and Vine
This time I’ll stay the course
Of course it’s one day at a time

That glow’s a dead-sure giveaway
That I’ve fallen off the track
But once upon a Christmas eve
It helped find my way back



VG - singing, instruments
Vance Gilbert © 2014 Disismye Music ASCAP

updated: 8 years ago