When: Monday, Feb 3th 7:30PM ET

Where: https://youtube.com/live/c52w57a5FQ8?feature=share

Who gets 10%: https://www.lgbtasylum.org The LGBT Asylum Task Force is a church ministry formed in 2008 welcoming LGBTQ people of all faith traditions as we provide housing, food, and connections to legal, educational, medical, and mental health resources at other local agencies.

http://paypal.me/vancevancevance or
https://venmo.com/vancevancevance or
VanceFunder P.O. Box 17, Arlington, MA 02476

GIG OF NOTE:

1/31 BEACON, NY / Towne Crier - https://townecrier.com/production/vance-gilbert-also-cliff-eberhardt

*PRIVATE COACHING AVAILABLE - Contact me (vance@vancegilbert.com) for songwriting, performance, and voice coaching.*

**CUSTOM SONGS - Expensive, but sure, you want one about you or your family or something.**

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Anthony Kill 1947 - 2023

She’s in the other room at the piano that hasn't been tuned in about 8 years, figuring out a good key to sing Leonard Bernstein’s "Simple Song”, which, like his contemporary Duke Ellington’s “Prelude To A Kiss”, mentions the simplicity of the song while being the most difficult melody ever. I will sing my version of Al Jarreau’s "Could You Believe” later in the service.

We’re shouting back and forth about keys, what if the piano player doesn’t have the music, transposition, where to meet at the church. Here I am talking about getting it together for a celebration of life service and talking about ourselves.

That’s what we do. Tony’s gone. Fractious asshat cancer. And we think about ourselves.

Tony's at rest. He told me last week when he was conscious that passing would be the final great moment of his living, that he believed therein lay his thereafter. He shook his head and winked how this was a good time to go, Even after all the pain, morphine, Ativan, he was happy-ready. Not giving up, but bags packed ready to go.

He was a farm boy, ordained as a Catholic priest in ’74, but "so very alienated from the authoritarian, hierarchical priesthood that he felt he could no longer represent that role with any integrity." After leave of absence to study at a seminary and re-recognition as a UCC minister, he married brilliant UCC minister Karen.

They adopted 2 Black boys who have become honorable young family men. I watched him do model trains with the older one. He’d happily answer my lazy questions about faith, war, and the hereafter. Once I asked him about abortion when we were alone at a cleared Christmas dinner table. He sighed and poured himself a deep, neat Scotch.

I saw him take an armful of absolutely crap scrap wood and screw together, whitewash, and hang a kitchen shelf that would have the IKEA people scrambling to make up a name. I listened to stories about the hospice and ministerial flock work he did even after retiring.

I asked him days before he died just who forgiveness was for - the perpetrator or the victim. I asked if I could do that to and for myself. I asked dumbass questions I probably could have Googled.

I have so many questions, still. I just don’t know what they are. There I go again, thinking about myself.

Thanks Tony. I love you.