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Vance’sMondayNightAcousticPajamaParty#60 NO AGENDA, JUST SINGING.


When: Monday Nite, MAY 10th 7:30PM EDT
(“doors” open at 7 for community hang) -

WHO GETS 10%: The Nature Connection.  Improving the wellbeing of individuals and communities through the therapeutic use of nature, The Nature Connection delivers programs to at-risk youth, people with disabilities, and elders, connecting individuals with nature’s capacity to heal, teach, and create joy.

$$:  or  or
a check to VanceFunder P.O. Box 17,
Arlington, MA 02476 for this web-groovery.
Pay or not. Up to you. Let’s stay connected.

This week’s pajamas: yes


Wednesday, May 19th, Portsmouth, NH. The Portsmouth Music Hall -  - 2 outdoor socially distance shows. 6:00 & 8:00 PM

Sunday, May 23rd - Ellis Paul Traveling Medicine Show Festival -  - virtual show with a cast of many plus me!

Saturday June 5th - Easton MD The Avalon Theatre  - another pair of socially distance shows 8 & (I think) 10pm

I teach and coach stuff.

Good Good Man - the CD - streaming all over, even get a CD from me…


Here’s a longish repost from over a year ago that I stumbled upon cleaning old emails and such. I need it today. Can it help you?:

~ Whomever they are, look at them. Are they broken, bruised, angry, ill? Then be ready to forgive them. If they are that way to you. If they are that way to the rest of the world. If you are or are not responsible for their anger at you. You have to forgive. That’s your best step into tomorrow.

If you have said "I’m sorry" in your language, in their language, in posture, in action, for this infraction real or perceived, and you’re looking for some return on your capitulate investment and their is none, that's where forgiveness is hardest and most needed.

Forgiveness of everyone, too. For yourself for whatever it is you did. For them for making you the unwarranted object of their pain. For God, The Spheres, The Clock, The Universe, or who or whatever put you smack dab in this point and time.

Maybe forgiveness is a gatekeeper of sorts. A timeout from payback, retribution, and hurt, just long enough to see the situation for what it is. A deescalation gear. A breath. A rest in the arms of Clementia, Roman goddess of clemency, leniency, mercy, forgiveness, penance, redemption, absolution and salvation. Well hell yeah, I Googled "God of Forgiveness". Wikipedia says there’s not much on her, and maybe she’s just an abstraction of an idea. They say that in traditional imagery, she is usually depicted holding an olive tree branch and a scepter and may be leaning on a column. Honestly, that sounds like fatigue to me. Can you blame her?

You have to forgive like there’s no God watching. Forget tapping your foot looking at your nails and waiting for an apology. You’ve got to forgive because it’s what *you* would do. In a way, Matthew 7:12 seems to make each party responsible for eventually knowing good and doing good back. If that works for loving and moving on, then ok, and amen. Buddhists say something to the effect that when someone that spits in your face Tuesday comes back in wonder as to why you are not angry on Wednesday, your response might be, “That was yesterday. Yesterday’s me was angry. This is a new day.”

That’s a lot of cheek turning. I feel absolutely cut to the aorta when wronged, when I am told I have done wrong, and the forgiveness hasn’t begun to do its salve thing quite yet. You? To be frank, out of the gate it hurts like war. If you think you’ll have some weight instantaneously lifted from your shoulders with some mindful “we be all good” then you’re in for a world of further ache. Buddhists also say that “forgiveness doesn’t excuse behavior, but it prevents behavior from destroying your heart”.

I keep thinking that forgiveness lets the heart act like a liver. Maybe you grow the incised piece back over time.

~ I discovered that if you grate a carrot by holding the skinny end you actually get more carrot in your salad- the fatter end gets grated up first, leaving far less carrot between your fingers. Just today I figured that out. And I’ve been grating carrots for a long time. If you knew that already, I’m sorry for being all kitchen mansplainy. Forgive me.