When: Monday, April 7, 7:30PM ET

Where: https://youtube.com/live/keaCb_aCBn4?feature=share

Who gets 10%: Connecticut College https://www.conncoll.edu my Alma Kinda Matters. Classmate was bugging me to give, so I went to the site and yes, when they asked “focus” there was an "Equity & Inclusion” button, so hell yes.

http://paypal.me/vancevancevance or https://venmo.com/vancevancevance or VanceFunder P.O. Box 17, Arlington, MA 02476

UPCOMING SHOWS:

4/5 ROCKPORT, MA / OLD SLOOP PRESENTS https://oldslooppresents.org/performance/vance-gilbert-2025 the amazing slinger/writer/singer Joe Wilkins opens

"Old Sloop” is what the Beach Boys sing now that they old. I will not do that song, but they still cool. I mean beaches, surfing - the music of my people...

There’s also
4/10 New London, CT (I went to college there)
4/11 Lewes, DE - (pronounced “Lewis”, so named after Black folks - I’m sure this spelling is slightly Ebonic)
4/12 Tom’s River, NJ - (my dad used to fish near here)

Links to these shows below

*PRIVATE COACHING AVAILABLE - Contact me (vance@vancegilbert.com) for songwriting, performance, and voice coaching.

***CUSTOM SONGS - Expensive, but sure, you want one about you or your family or something.***

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FOOD, PLANES, AND NAMES

Reheated rice pasta tastes like ass and falls apart like a bad marriage.

“TRIPLE WASHED” spinach - no it won’t be washed a 4th time if I am cooking. Nope nopitty nope.

SOUTHWEST’S NEW SLOGAN “Now we be just another airline but we paint our planes pretty amirite?” You wanna save money Southwest? Get rid of the orange and blue. That 500-1000 pounds of paint.

Thats 10-20 full bags. Paint is heavy. Do the math, go aluminum, get you a small logo, give back the free bags.

PACKAGE 4-PACK AVOCADOS in a line with most ripe up front, hardest in rear.

TOFU = SpongeBall ChewPants even when BBQ roasted.

IMPOSSIBLE BURGER. Stop adding beet juice or whatever that red stuff is. Stop it. Stop. Stop. It. It does not have to bleed. Stop

“KAREN”. I don’t care about its etymology I won’t use it. I have a friend, a very progressive gay woman, who excoriated me once for using “bitch” in a live comedy routine”. And yet, sometime later, in casual public conversation, she called a woman a “Karen”.

I’ll tell you what. I don’t know many women named “Bitch”. I don’t know anyone named “NwordR” either. Neither is golden and I know - the embedded lexicon that we accept today can be as oppressive as hundreds and thousands of years of chain link. But I surely know some remarkably revolutionary people named “Karen” and a Thomas with nieces and nephews that I love dearly. We surely don’t need a new ugly catch-all. Yeah, I should’ve spoken up, but I was still smarting.

Maybe that’s one of the nice things about getting old. I maybe I dont have to hold back shit anymore. And I mean that in all of the ways that it can be taken, sorry, can I borrow that roll of paper towels?