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Happy New Year and Decade. VANCE HAS SHOWS!!!

Hi All,

I’m getting heard, reviewed, tix sales are up, and it’s all because of your support. Got a couple minutes? Check out these links to places and people of some note happy about Good Good Man:

Maximum Volume -

Tinnitist -,

Jazz Chill (yeah, I had to giggle too)


And here’s some shows:

This show is so very last minute, tacked on because the owner wants her exposed to audience as much as I do. You must trust me that you should come to see Alisa- she’s selling out Club Passim here in Cambridge, but opening for me? Remember when Shawn Colvin first “hit”? You’ll want to be part of this evening, my show notwithstanding. I ain’t playin.

1/25 - Westport, CT - Voices Cafe Connecticut Album Release Show!!

1/26 - Huntington, NY - Back to the Garden House Concert 443-481-7033 for details

2/1 - Cambridge, MA - Club Passim - 2 shows ALBUM RELEASE SHOW WITH A BAND Tix are brisk - get yours asap.

2/8 - Davie, FL - South Florida Folk Festival

2/15 - Pomfret, CT - Vanilla Bean

2/16 - Park Ridge, NJ - Acoustic Cafe

2/20 - Houston, TX - McGonigles Mucky Duck


2/22 - Baton Rouge, LA - Red Dragon Listening Room


PRIVATE POST-HOLIDAY PARTIES - yeah. There’s a mess of them, on into January. Get you one.

- Good Good Man's release date is 22 days away - 1/24/20 (streaming and download happens then too), but yes, you can get a CD NOW:
• PayPal to -
• check for anything between $10 - $20 and up to Vancefunder P.O. Box 17 Arlington, MA 02476
• **If your name is on the CD, you’re a friend, family member, promoter, radio/podcast personage, cash strapped, or anyone else that thinks they should just have one, send me your address and just ask and I’ll send it.**

-Post-Holiday Soirées, coaching of songwriting, performance & voice, Christmas Tree Disposal/Hanukkah Menorah Wax Scraping/Kwanzaa Dashiki Cleaning w/music available upon request.



Yeah, this’ll be a list of things, questions, answers:

~ For those of you that wrote in correctively as to when a decade really starts or finishes, I kindly ask you to go poop in your hat. Recent definitions by people smarter than you say the decade starts or ends when one deems it such for their purposes. And you wonder why no one asks you anything about anything at dinner parties. Mansplainers...

~ I’m not a fan of either, but how can we tell an 18 year old to storm a hill in Afghanistan and kill while simultaneously telling them that they can’t smoke a cigarette for 3 years?

~ I don’t care what she does or what kind of bird feeder she gets. Squirrels can break into anything. That’s not mansplaining. That’s my kitchen window.

~ The Beyond Beef Burger Thing...those things taste just fine but they really do not have to bleed when you cook them. They don’t. Stop that.

~ To Amazon for cancelling The Man In The High Castle - You must be sleeping with the same people that sleep with the cancellers of Millennium and Firefly but left on the new Hawaii 5-0. You’re senseless.

~ To the clearly unwell woman that shouted “You’ll always play second fiddle to Ellis Paul" when I joined him on stage at his Passim New Years show...sigh. You’re forgiven. It was funny when I shouted back “Shut up Lady! I’ve actually slept with him. Have you?” Look, we were poor, on the road, and had to share a hotel bed. And an apartment for almost a year….Nothing happened.

~ To the seemingly stable woman that hugged me, then shouted as I left "Vance!! Take off your pants!!...”  Dear, it’s a new world, a world that should have actually always been, and a climate abounds in which no one, man or woman, should be sexually objectified, even to make a cutesy rhyme. Ewww and yuck, Susan, I think your name was. Eww.

~ It’s worth it to wash blankets and sheets and everything after a poopy stomach virus, right?

~ And finally a question from and an answer to a minister friend:

“Re: your recent set of musings...your neighbor has really embedded himself under your skin. He pushes your buttons in a visceral way –why do you allow him to bug you so much? What does he represent from your past that you can’t let go of?

My answer:

My personal idea of ministry means not leaving anyone behind. That man represents the angry of my father, the angry that I could be if I let myself, and how it is those very people that deserve our time and love maybe more than anyone else. So maybe I’ll never let it go. It’s a blessing and a curse to not dismiss a hurtful one. Who am I to dismiss that man, right? I mean, at some point in time, aren’t we all ministers?

I think about that man every time I run past his house and that’s maybe four or five days a week, and each time I run past I say a little prayer that I see, Just a little teeny bit more goodness in me, I hope for a little more goodness in him.

That said, here’s the lyrics to a tune I wrote called Santa Claus Won't Stand Up In Your Yard (c) Vance Gilbert:

Santa Claus won’t stand up
In your yard (2x)
No matter how much air
That little fan
Keep blowing inside
That plastic man
Santa Claus won’t stand up
In your yard

Rudolph’s leaning hard
To the right hand side (2X)
Red-nosed deer
Listing hard to starboard
All running paint
And wrinkled cardboard
Rudolph’s leaning hard
To the right hand side

I can hold him steady
While you hammer and stake the line (2X)
Nothing like a second
Set of hands
To stabilize a reindeer
And a big red man
I can hold him steady
While you hammer and stake the line

You give me evil eye
As I pass by in the rain (2X)
You mean and angry
And soaking wet
So getting passed by
Is all you gonna get

Santa Claus won’t stand up
In your yard (2X)
He and the Buddha
And the Son of God
Never come across a man
That make them work so hard
Santa Claus won’t stand up
In your yard

Peace xo to ebbody out there