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QUESCHENS, STATEMINTS

-Why isn’t there an altimeter for iPhone? I asked Siri the elevation she said “Interesting question…”Honestly.
-Why can't some hotel rooms hold onto the WiFi code for the length of your stay rather than having you have to sign back up when you return from a 15 minute jog?
-No real restaurant worker ever uses the actual spout on the water pitcher when pouring.
-Is it bad form to tell people in a Council Meeting to STFU when they’re talking about something and they wrong about it?
-Why is Tucson pronounced “too saan”? Why are people mad when I say “Tuck Son”?
-Is it an acceptable life challenge like bench pressing my weight to work with a computer at 12 point font rather than going to the awesomely manageable (at 65) 16 point font?
-My insurance company’s note to me for re-enrollment is so sad and pleading because they know I'm getting on medicare and they be losing out now, the overpriced bicches.
-Booking dot com I know the nights I want, please stop offering me other shid that I inadvertently press the button for and have to do the next hour to cancel.
-I went to the kitchen for something dammit. What was it?