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Vance - More Midwest, NY, MA, and the band RazorPoodle

Hi VanceFan!!

Happy Monday Muse All. Categorically put:

1) Dogs:

a) Roscoe - I know you’re getting old and the clock is ticking. But seriously, pneumonia? What a trooper you are even as the antibiotic makes you poopy. You’re a Trooper Poopy Pneumonic Poodle.

b) Bessie - eating a pack of carbon steel razor blades betrays your smarts as a Poodle. So that I don’t look like a crappiest of dog owners let’s be clear, they were in a drawer you nosed open in my office because they smelled old and you like old smelly things like rare books and collectible hats. But old model building razor blades? Or was this a ploy to have an x-ray and to get many slices of Wonderbread during the day?

i) RazorPoodle is a great band or album name...

c) I swear the emergency vet, while professional, compassionate, and as diagnostically clear as all get out, looked to be 13 - 14 years old. No you may NOT go out this weekend, fix my dog first. And then clean your room.

d) Paul Reiser - your show was brilliant. My set before you was pretty decent too. With all you have to do, for you to text me “How’s your dog” at 7 AM meant the world. Thanks. You are almost forgiving to trying to kill Ripley and them kids in Stranger Things. Why you always got to be a doctor killing people in movies and stuff anyway?

e) Folks at the Capitol Center Theatre in Concord NH - managers, police, ushers, house managers, all saw me blanch when I got the call about the dog. I told one person what had happened, word spread amongst the staff there like wildfire. Your support and concern over Bessie was above and beyond. Sure, I’ll come play your smaller room if you’l have me. But for now - look at this room!!

2) Cheryl Wheeler - How random to see you at that rest stop on the Merritt Parkway. You are as genuine and as beautiful as ever and I love you so dearly. That hug by the gas pump will be with me for a good while, even if the people behind me had to wait for a minute. Whilst sharing a bus with you for a whole month is another thing altogether, you genius and caring stay with me forever. XOXOX

3) Michael Veitch - You hosting me in that gated community place was a gas. Good on you for bringing the likes of us singer-songwriters to that community. I will say, lovely as the place is, all the houses look so similar, it’s probably not a place to come home to drunk in the middle of the night. Just saying…And your journey is inspiring, brother, thanks for sharing and knowledeificating me. Love you even more

4) Connecticut - Your rest area kiosks are now open only between 9am to 3:30pm. Great. Perfect for tired night travelers. Splendid move.

5) Speaking of street stuff:

a) Arlington, MA. The light at the Ed Burns Arena (aka skating rink) needs a new timer so that time and fuel isn’t wasted at 2am waiting a full cycle. Hockey is not so all important and is not Arlington's GNP, particularly at the hour when all NPR stations are playing jazz and New Age. Get a traffic engineer out there, shorten the light after 1am, and help save the planet.

b) Mass State law requiring stopping for people at/in/contemplating the crosswalk - While I get it in theory, pedestrian lives are based on automobile operators divining their intent. People on phones where a crosswalk is also at a bus stop is a set-up for bad things, I just warn you, if you depend on everyone being Kreskin behind the wheel.

5) Fan - Do not quiz me about, be hurt by, or insulted by my 60 year-old 4,000-career-shows self not outright remembering you in a strange venue while I’m selling, pressing flesh, signing as the opening act. No matter however many times you’ve come to see me and the brief moments we’ve spoken, it’s unfair, privileged, myopic. The message flagellation was just hurtful. Please accept my apology for my memory not being what it was or never was. I do the best I can to foster some community. I’m sure you’ll read this, you got my personal note back tooand I hope you’ll see where I’m coming from. You can make it up to me by donating to my new album fund. Make that as juicy and delicious as a pack of razor blades to a Poodle and I’ll be remembering you for certain henceforth. If you have donated and I forgot, then see above the apology part.

You and anyone else can got to to see how, and get your name on my cd, no matter how much you donate. Artwork will be in the next month, so the time is kinda now..

Here’s where I’ll be:

4/12 Ft Atkinson, WI,
4/13 Egg Harbor WI,
4/20 Beacon NY, w/Christine Lavin
4/27 Harvard MA,

Coaching, private parties, stapler repair, all available upon request